A 20-something's bullshits

Yeah, that's how I'm talking about me, myself, my generation. 20-something, yet I usually use the term for people between the age of 22 - 25, they're my 20-something people. And, I don't even create that term, I stole it from the internet.

The good thing about being a 20-something: You can never tell what will happen to you!

and its bad side: You can never tell what will happen to you!

22, is the average age when you finish your college, full of energy, and ready to set sail and catch your dream.You don't really give a damn about the consequence since you believe eveything just happens once in a lifetime, it's either now or never.

At 25, after of 3 years of sailing, getting beaten up several times, learning a bunch of lessons and seeing life is not like what you've dreamed of, you grow your experience, you don't make stupid decision, your adventurous blood somehow runs cold. After being hurt, you're afraid of the pain. You became more cautious, yet the young man in you still pushes you forward, you still move, but this time with your mind is fully awared (maybe, who can tell!).

(Don't judge me through this part. It's just my thought, I'm not even 25 yet, just feelings I have felt all over my years of growing older-but-no-wiser!)

I love my unplanned traveling when I ran through the streets of Singapore to catch a bus to Malaysia, walking on the street of Kuala Lumpur alone at 4 am to find a hostel and afraid of being robbed... I'm not sure I still have the guts to do all that shits when I turned 30, with enough money in my bank account (hopefully). Maybe by that time I will still travel alone but with a careful plan, or just simply pick a travel agency, book some good hotel in advance and enjoy the luxurious yet boring services they bring. Suddenly you will hear your body says "i'm too old for this stuff" but your pride yells "fuck that shit" and you eventually find yourself regret not listening to your body, but it may worth the try.

As a 20 something former art student, I have a lot of bullshits, thoughts and doubts about life, love, world peace, my existence or simply the goddamn universe. Sometimes I wish i was not that sensitive, not enough to be an emo, but more that just enough to enter my favorite depressive philosophy mode when I watch a chick flick romance, hear a heart broken song or read a cheesy novel. The situation is always not as bad as it seems, or maybe it's not even like that, but then i overthink it, and get depressed in the end! Lesson for life: Ignorance is bliss. Easy to remember, but hard to do.

As a 20 something experiencing life, I ran into several paradoxes. I hate something people do to me, but I also realize I do the same thing to the others, like I hate it when I text people asking for things and they don't reply, or people who keeps on texting asking nonsense stuffs like "what are you doing?"... Unless those texts are from people I like, or my real friends, I sheldomly reply. I guess it's karma. Always tell myself: Treat people the way you want to be treated, but keep failing!

Okay, that's enough bullshits for today. Actually I want to write more but I don't know how to continue. Yeah, another paradox of the youth!

How To Survive A Heart Break

But you will still experience being heart broken and go through severe emotional distress!

Heavily based on my own experience, so take it as a reference, and at your own risk. I wrote this with good intention and hope maybe one of you will find it helpful in some way. 

1/ Let it be:

First step to survive a break up: Accept it! Accept that you're now single, don't cling to the past, don't cling to the words and promises that your ex once said. It's the first step to move on.

2/ No crying, begging, text terrorism/drunk text:

I know you've been through a hard times. Actually crying is fine, but do it alone or with your best friend/family members/anyone that you feel comfortable to cry on. Never, ever, go to the one who broke up with you and cry and beg for a second chance, thinking it will change their mind. The truth is, you look pathetic at the moment you're doing it, and if they ever take you back, it's just their pity. Your "new" relationship won't last for a month.

The same with the texting: don't text stuffs like "how can i live without you/you're my life, please come back, i will do anything..." They chose to break up with you means they don't want to see you, at least for the time. Doing so will annoy them and push them further. And texting while you're drunk will make you regret next morning, mostly (unless there are miracles).

3/ No heart broken music:

Music can touch the soul, but your soul is currenty wounded, and those things will make you bleed harder. Try songs like "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor, "Stronger" by either Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears, "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri... Songs about people that recently been through break ups like you and still stand tall. I even made a playlist and named it "Fuck You Love". They actually help in pumping your mood up, at least for the moment you're listening. Save those heart broken songs for later, once you get over the break up, or at least you've gone numb!

4/ Go out, as much as possible:

With friends or family members. You might want to go out with several differnt people instead of just one, since you're hurted, but people have their own lives too. This one is pretty obvious, but there are things to be aware of. Friends who do not support or sympathize with your situation might cause negative effects on you. Also consider if you choose to go out with you ex's friends, it may causes misunderstanding like they might think you try to use them to stalk your ex. And never go to places that your ex often goes. You sure don't want to run into them and be called a creepy stalker.

5/ Meet new people, especially people from the opposite sex:

This is the concept of "plenty of fish in the sea". Probably you would still think "my ex is irreplaceable" or "I'm fed up with relationships or men/women...". I don't say you flirt and date them. Meeting new people will give you the opportunity to see a great diversity of people around you, since you may have neglected it with your previous relationship. Yes, the world is colorful and there are bunch of interesting people, so why narrowing your view?

6/ Avoid places that you two used to go to:

For the beginning of the break up, you should stay away from those places. It will only bring sad memories, thus slow down the recovery process. If that's a coffee shop, don't pass it. Even if it's your daily road and it makes you feel bad, choose another route (if it's possible).

7/ Travel/live abroad for a period of time:

Traveling is good, it gives you fresh air and lightens your mind. But living abroad is something to consider, since it's actually a kind of running away. If you've been hurted deeply and there are many things that remind you of your past relationship, it's the last choice to start all over again, just to make sure you can make a good living in the new place.

8/ Change your habit:

It's both the person and the habit you miss. You used to go out with them on Saturday night, now do something instead of staying at home on that day. Think of something you love, or want to do. Take that guitar class or dance course you've wanted for so long but haven't got the time, or simply go to the gym, for example. Keep yourself occupied and you will likely have less time to be depressed.

9/ Pump yourself up:

It's the best time to concentrate on yourself, since you were busy with your ex. Put on (or lose) some weight, develop your skills/talents, join social activities... Also take sometime to look back on your relationship when you feel ready. Think of why the ex left (even if your ex cheated on you) and be the person that once made the ex fell for you.

10/ Time:

Time is the answer to everything. Even if your ex contact you, but you still feel depress, then don't rush back. Take your time and should only see your ex when you're ready to let the past go. The same with rebound relationship after the break up. It won't heal anything but causing more troubles. So relax and "enjoy" your time being single.  

Basically that's it. At least it worked for me so, i hope it does with you too. Godspeed!

Reasons You Will Hate Me

The title itself said enough, so let's just imagine the situation here: We're strangers and just recently met. You may had some good impression at first but as time goes on, you found out more about my bad habits and started to hate me. Let me list you some traits that you will hate about me so you don't have me waste your time anymore:

1/ I hate any kind of phone

I hate the cell phone's ringtone, the message's tone. I hate the landline's tone also. Everytime I hear the tone of my cell phone or my landline, I get frustrated, even sometimes pissed off. That's why I always have my phone silenced, which means I don't notice if there are any text messages or missed calls. It may takes up to 10 missed called or a couple of text messages for me to get back to you. I don't answer text messages immediately also, even when I see them coming, unless they're urgent things. I will do that when I'm not busy/feel comfortable.

2/ I'm lazy

Yes! I'm super lazy and the king of procrasination. Want me to do something? Give me an amount of time and let me handle it by myself, and my way. Stop asking me every 5 minutes "how is it" and "you should follow this and that". You will definitely get "Sorry, I'm busy checking 9gag/Thought Catalog/Facebook and haven't done a thing. I'm waiting for my last minute panic! That's when I have the most inspiration while shitting myself to finish the job!". Nah, I'm not that bad, but, just leave it to me, you will get it, and good. And one more thing, when the urge of laziness comes, I can cancel/withdraw anything, even an already set appointment. I know it's very bad though.

3/ I'm indecisive:

As a part of my Libra's nature. I'm very indecisive. I hate giving decision at once without carefully inspect the situation. I also look/wait for the best option or alternative. In addition, I also give decision depends heavily on my feelings at the time also, so it's very often when you hear me like this "oh okay, give me sometime, I will let you know", "I will get back to you soonest" or "let's see how thing goes"... and you know it's not that soon!

4/ I'm not known for my patience:

In contrast to my hesitation above, I'm impatient, which just makes things worse. Currently my schedule for the week is pretty full, so everytime I ask someone out, I do it a couple of days in advance and I need the answer ASAP so I can put the event in my schedule, the longer I wait for your confirmation, the more i will push you, and the faster you will go nuts. You will have a chance to witness my impatience when you ride with me on the street, or wait for a long awaited order in a restaurant.

5/ I'm picky:

I have a weird taste in things and people. If things or people are not my taste, i don't give a damn. Don't get me wrong! I totally respect people's choice and taste. I never judge anyone if they like Justin Bieber, Twilight movie, homosexual, have piercing, tatoos ... (seriously, that's the most disrespectful things one ever did). "Picky" here emphasizes on the personality, not the look or how/who people are. If I talk to you for several times and I don't feel interest or find out we have totally different points of view/beliefs that we can't agree on, then please don't bother me anymore.

6/ I am seldomly serious + oftenly sarcastic:

Life's too short to be serious! I always joke, and they're just for fun. I've met several situations where people find my sarcasm/jokes offensive, and think I'm a bloke. I know it's bad, which i'm trying to fix, but, it's my nature. And when I say those things, I don't even mean a thing, like I said, it's just for fun. Oh well, maybe only me find them funny.

7/ I am me:

Whatever you do, you will be judged. You go out with girls, they will say you're a player. You have a tatoo, they will say you're bad. You're beautiful, they will say you're dumb. You say how you feel, they will consider you a rebel... See, you've already been into the bottom of this society just by trying to be yourself! So what's the deal! This is my life, why do i have to care when you're mad because I'm happy, as long as I do not cause any harm to you? Enough said!

Still there are many many many bad traits about me, but i guess these things above are enough for you to consider if you still want to be my friend anymore.
Nevermind, I know I'm going to hell anyway!